Mar 5, 2011

Expectations

Expectations. The root cause of sadness. Question: Should we have expectations?

Let us discuss a situation. My situation. I didn't expect anything from my CAT. But I managed to score a pretty good score. I was extremely happy. After that, I expected a number of IIM Calls and didn't get them. I was irritated and sad with that situation. So, expectations let to irritation and sadness right? May be yes. I am certain a low CAT score would not have affected me because I never expected anything from the test.

You want your friends to behave in a certain manner. When they do not live up to that certain behavior then it affects you. Or me at least. A fight with some random person on the street will leave you angry for 10 mins and you will forget it. Imagine the same with your family. Does it not spoil your mood? Yes, of course it does. That is because you expect certain things from your family members.

Just continuing the above example, and my initial question. Should we have expectations? I guess yes. You just need to draw a line where your expectations turn into things that will affect you the most. It is justified that you expect your parents to pamper you, to be with you when you need them the most. It is justified that you expect your friends to be supportive of you. But then care should be taken that the lack of living up to those expectations does not leave you sad and disheartened.

I am not saying that expectation is the only cause of sadness. There can be many others too. Expectations just form a major chunk of them. If every one of us follows the saying as below, I don't think we will ever be sad because of expectations:
आपना काम कर, फल की चिंता ना कर
But one needs a great will power to follow the above saying. It is almost next to impossible to follow. It is this that we need to achieve. Drive out the expectations from our mind. I will end by saying:
Live the present, think about the future but don't expect anything from the future.


14 comments:

Rishkul Kulkarni said...

Expecting the worst is a practical solution. Nothing can be worse than worst right?

Harshad said...

That is a pessimistic way of looking at it. Rather, don't expect anything. Be indifferent. Helps.

Deepti Deshpande Patankar said...

Nice topic.. but i guess u cud include the give and take of expectations..!!!

Kirti said...

I agree with the ideal indifference. it is very hard to attain. But I think once there, life would be easier. But less human na? You cant stay numb, thats not how we are meant to be, we are supposed to expect and in fact we are supposed to feel disappointed too, thats the rule of life. What is important is, how you deal with that disappointment. How you move forward.
End of the day, what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
@rishkul: we have seen enough of your pessimism to last us a lifetime. Try harshad's comment. :D

Preeti Ramaraj said...

Try hope..never disappoints you..and much more positive feeling

Shraddha said...

Expectations are bad when they make us do something seeking the end. The means must justify the end and not vice versa.

But then,being human,we will expect once in a while. People claiming to have attained godhood by not expecting ever,well,I would not know how far to believe them.

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