She sipped her coffee, rested her elbow on the table and stared at the plants outside her window. She took a deep breath and said to herself, “I have to arrive at some decision. I have to make a choice”.
How she wished the world would come to a still. How she wished everything around her would just stop moving. There are so many questions revolving around her head. “Why does it have to be me….Haven’t I given my best to this relationship?” Perhaps this is life. You don’t know what’s right or wrong. You just have to come to a decision. A decision which will in turn, decide your future.
Priya still remembers the time when it had all started. The hospital, the surroundings, the chaos in and around every ICU. It was all still alive in her mind. She could still hear, see and feel everything. She still remembers the time. The time when the doctor arrived and announced, “Priya, I’m afraid. You have a huge responsibility coming. You sister has been diagnosed with moderate mental retardation.”
The world turned upside down. Everything around her went blurred making her feel dizzy. She felt paralyzed. The doctor of course need not explain what the disorder is. Being a psychology student, she knew everything. She knew she had to take care of her sister herself and be with her day and night. She didn’t know what to feel. She was just helpless. But the only thing she knew was, to be prepared for the worst.
Years glided by since that day. Priya loved her mother and her sister. She gave her best to cure her sister or at least not to make her condition worse. How she loved to look at her day and night. Her sister, lovingly called Angela, was charming in her own way. Priya just loved to attend to her, to teach her, to play with her. Not a moment came when she felt her sister was a burden. While others sympathized with her, she considered her little sister as a blessing. For her, she was the angel in the family. Then the day came when her responsibility had grown further. She became all alone. Her mentor, her idol, her mother was gone. Oh, how she dreaded that day. Her mind went numb. Her only solace, her support would no longer be with her. Once again, her family was reduced to two.
But then, Priya was a strong lady. Her mother had never let her feel the absence of her father. She was raised like a boy. “The matured of the lot” - she had got used to this statement – from school, to college, to work. How this made her so proud. Priya was the wall to her mother. Ever since her father left, her mother had gone through the worst. Watching her mother crying to sleep everyday made her feel helpless. “Can’t I help my mother to move on?” – was the question she would ask herself. That’s when she decided to be a psychologist. Having immense empathy towards others, she was ‘the chosen one’ in this field. Success came to her way easily. Her confidence, dignity, her personality was charming. She walked like she ruled the world. Her smile could make a raging bull jump into the pool of happiness. Her sense of independence made the men go weak in their knees. She was like a magnet. People would be drawn towards her in no time. That’s the time she found her soul mate-Nikhil. He was just the perfect for her. He was her strength. How he comforted her. How he made her feel at ease. He was the only support to her now, the support in raising her sister. In a blink, he became her life.
And there he goes – “I want you to shift your sister to a mentally challenged home”. Could she hear him right? Is it Nikhil? The same Nikhil who had once said, “No matter what, you should always look after your sister yourself and I’ll be there with you”? Her hand trembled. “Do you even know what you are saying”? Then came forth her options – whether she wants him or her sister (who would very soon leave this world too). The words felt like bullets in her ears. How could she leave Angela? She was her sister, her sole responsibility. The bond which she shared was indescribable. What about Nikhil? Why did he leave her in this turmoil? Why had he made those promises when they were never meant to be fulfilled? She had no answers. Nikhil had simply refused to give any. She just knew she had to come to a decision.
Staring at the plants today, sipping coffee, Priya realized the time has come to arrive at a decision. But she was unable to do so. Suddenly there came a hand gripping her shoulders from behind. She looked around and saw her sister. Angela’s eyes were twinkling. It was screaming with joy saying – “I know you’ll be there with me”. Priya took her onto the lap and hugged her. She hugged her like never before. It’s strange how people who are called “mentally challenged” are so purer at heart than the so-called ‘unchallenged’ ones. Perhaps this is when we are at our best. When our mind is like a child and loses that shrewdness which makes us adults. Without a second’s thought she took her phone and typed – “I’ve made my decision. Let’s not cross our paths again”.
That night she went for a walk by the sea face. It was pitch dark. She didn’t know how long it had been since she kept staring at the waves crashing on the shore. Time to time, the cool breeze slapped her by the face. She was devoid of all emotions. The clouds growled, the lightning above the sea made the whole surrounding picturesque. She walked. She walked like a new person. Her body, her soul was numb. Suddenly she felt the rain. The rain which made her see life from a different perspective. The rain which kissed her with love gently. The heavy breeze made the trees bow down to her – for being the way she was. Yes, she was alive once again. Her dignity, her self-respect bloomed like an immortal flower. She was free, in love with life, with herself. She understood the secret – the bond of the sisterly love. The bond for which she is still living. The bond unsinkable.
